Texas

Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155

And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462

Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother
buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031

And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590

Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452

Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Goliad, Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Robert Lee, Texas


Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 7766
Sylvester, Texas 79560


Oher city names in Texas , to make you smile.....
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079


And our favorites...
Cut n Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Hoop And Holler, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas
and, of course,
Muleshoe , Texas

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Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas...

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.

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Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas:

1. Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles.
2. Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles.
3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas.
4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.
5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America
built over water.
6. The Heisman Trophy w as named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .
7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .
8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only
remaining flock of whooping cranes.
9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
10. The worst natural disaster in U.S . history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .
11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was " Houston..."
12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .
13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43" in 24
hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.
14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the
Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and it may choose to divide itself into 5 states.
15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr
Pepper.
18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg, Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia and Austin.
19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is
taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).
20. The name " Texas " comes from the Hasini Indian word "tejas" meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.
21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about
the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).
22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston .

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Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas :
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Caution! R-Rated Link Below!

Got your attention, didn't I? :)

Ok, not completely "R" rated, but it is sex-related. I mean, what's sexier than a U.S. Circuit Court's decision?

Court overturns Texas ban

I love the first story linked from the Austin American-Statesman.

"The Texas law dates back to the 1970s and is seldom enforced. Travis County prosecutors say that they haven't charged anyone ... in at least the past seven years, and probably much longer."

I love it. They do know that the word "seldom" means that it has been enforced at some point. And what does "probably much longer" mean? Eight years?

And Texans wonder why everyone still thinks this entire state is bass-ackwards. :\

PS - You have to watch the video in the second link. It's priceless.

You may live in Texas...

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas...

· If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas

· If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live inTexas

· If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas .

· If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas

· If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas .

· If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas

· If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas

· If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas

· If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas .

· If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Texas .

Happy Texas Independence Day!

"The Texas Declaration of Independence was signed on March 2, 1836. Texas Independence Day, March 2, was formerly observed as a holiday throughout the state." (read more)

-from The Handbook of Texas Online

GRIT (girls raised in Texas)

Texas Women, Kittens and Biscuits

Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most
awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless
her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless her heart, if they put her
brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane
highway."

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was
telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because
her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent. My
friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about
those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this
woman had CHOSEN to move to Texas a couple of years ago.
"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is
going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from
the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their
friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've
even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread
down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks
it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor
or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to
do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over
yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart,
she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."

Texas girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Texas girls always say:
1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."

Texas girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."

Texas girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest

Texas girls know everybody's first name:
1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger

Texas girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Texas girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas !

Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females
aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".

"Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan.
After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't
make them biscuits."

Alamo Drafthouse

I was scanning through the Independent Film Channel's site today (ifc.com) and came across this article which talks about Alamo Drafthouse and how great their theatres are. Yay for an Austin-based business making it big! :)

http://ifc.com/news/article?aId=18592

The Alamo Drafthouse
For those of you who've heard about it but haven't been, I'm here to tell you: you haven't seen a movie until you've seen it Alamo Drafthouse-style. A small but growing Texas chain, the Alamo — which also created the ingenious Rolling Roadshow, where classic movies are shown in the locations that inspired them — shows movies the way God intended, assuming God is a very lazy film nerd who likes to eat and drink while watching his movies. The Alamo's presentation involves the most important innovation to moviegoing technology since the stadium seat: food and drink served to you via waiter throughout your movie. No having to miss parts of the movie to hit the concession stand and, more importantly, lots and lots of booze. Once you've seen "Talladega Nights" at the Alamo you'll never want to see it any other way. I'm waiting for a New York branch with bated breath. —Matt Singer

Happy Texas Independence Day!

"The Texas Declaration of Independence was signed on March 2, 1836. Texas Independence Day, March 2, was formerly observed as a holiday throughout the state." (read more)

-from The Handbook of Texas Online

From a Non-Texan

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City
people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast,
dinner and then there's supper.

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.

"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a
vegetable.

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world."

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good
chili-eatin' weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.

Why Santa Comes to Texas Last

Dad forwarded this to me...it goes out to all the hunters in my life :)

http://www.jingleshells.com/